Success – Why Your 5 Closest Friends Matter

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn

This famous quote by Jim Rohn became further popularized by Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins, two of the biggest names in the motivational speaker community.  So do your 5 closest friends determine your success?

Think about the people you closely associate with.  If you’re truly looking for more motivation in your life or want to further you passions, it helps to reflect.  Ask yourself some questions. 

Do my 5 closest friends (or family):

  • make me a better person?
  • brighten up my day?  
  • motivate me to work harder?  
  • have something that I want?

If you can’t answer ‘yes’ to any of those questions, then what do these people in your life have to offer you?  They could, in fact, be bringing you down or stopping you from being a better version of yourself.

Why Do Friends Change Over Time?

Look back at friends that maybe have disappeared from your life over the years and ask yourself why?  Was it your own doing?  Was it theirs?  At some point, someone made a choice to move on.

Perhaps, you went to college and your friends started the workforce and over time your ideals separated.  Maybe you continued to pursue the bachelor/bachelorette life and your friends got married and their focus became family.  Regardless of the reasoning, those choices have profound impacts on how your life grows.

A persons value doesn’t have to be determined by a dollar amount.  If your friends bring you joy, don’t dump them thinking that they’re not making you rich.  That’s a stupid thought.

Go watch the movie ‘Scrooged’ with Bill Murray and see where that got him in his life. 

Another good one – ‘The Family Man’ with Nicolas Cage.

For myself, my friends are as close to me as family and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  As they grow, I grow, and it’s important that we maintain the same values.  Tim Ferriss went on to further elaborate the famous quote from Jim Rohn.

But you are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.”— Tim Ferriss

While it makes a lot of sense, it also allows us to do some reflecting.  After all, we don’t want to be the weak link in the chain.  Everyone in our circle of trust should offer something that the other one might not.

Off With Their Heads!

Do your 5 closest friends or family members in your life really define your success and happiness?  Absolutely, but don’t just shun them away either without giving them a chance.  Help them if they’re having a hard time and I’m sure they’ll help you later on when you need it.  Be the leader and pave a path.  Maybe they’ll take the lead in the future when you’re struggling.  It’s a symbiotic relationship and there should be no leaches.

If time has passed and your friends don’t come around, may it’s time to let them go.  In fact, I had a friend that pushed away most of his close friends over the last several years.  I was one of the last ones, trying desperately to hang on.  Eventually, the energy was no longer worth it and I had to let this friend go.  A 20 year friendship was over.  Sometimes it’s not easy, but it’s up to us individually to decide whether or not it’s worth it.

It’s Not Just Friends

Our life force isn’t just dictated by our friends.  It’s dictated by all of the other people in our life; spouse, family, co-workers, gym partners, etc..

Think about the people we work with.  Are they motivating and energetic or are they pessimistic and condescending?  Our attitude towards how we feel about our work is very dependent on how we feel about our coworkers.

Don’t let a few bad apples sour how you feel about a certain career path.  If it’s not likely that they will leave or exit anytime soon, maybe it’s time you pursued another company.  No reason to linger or sulk if there’s an alternative option.

Make Adjustments

Usually, life has a way of making adjustments happen for us, but it’s important that we intervene and re-evaluate for ourselves.  Whether it’s a co-worker, colleague, friend, family or a spouse, it helps to think about how each and every one of those people adds value into our daily lives.  After all, life is already hard as it is and we could all use a boost every once in a while.

Don’t let those pessimists into your daily life and suck you down the rabbit hole.  You’ll be sure to join them eventually!

Are you the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?

Check Out: Friends Don’t Let Friends Borrow Money

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